Not *That* Kind of a Wife

Housewives doing work at home.

Have you ever read something that gets your heartrate surging?

I did.

My life hasn't been the same since.

Inspired by Judy Brady’s iconic essay “I Want a Wife,” I obsessed over each line so much that I copied and pasted her essay into four different files. After reading it, I needed to know: have we changed?

Read "I Want a Wife"

For all the progress we talk about, have the attitudes of the general public moved from knee-jerk aversion to stubborn resistance?

"I Want a Wife" inspired me almost immediately to do something I've never done before: adapt someone's work.

This "poetic" response is for every woman who’s ever been expected to carry it all—and smile while doing it. For anyone who has been told to be grateful for the ability to do chores that no one appreciates.

Want to know where this all started?

This poem was born from a place of personal reflection and a slow realization: despite all the progress, some expectations about being a “good wife” haven’t changed as much as we’d like to think.

At first, I scoffed at the idea — surely feminism had won this battle? But as I took stock, I realized the subtle pressures lingered. So I made a checklist:

• How did I measure up?

• Was I a good feminist or a bad wife?

• Is it really possible to be good at both?

  
  

Full disclosure: I swapped children for dogs in my version of “good wifely duties.” 🐾

If you want to see the highlights of my experiment (and maybe measure your own), check out the highlighted version here.

This poem is a non-satirical satire adaptation because we can make the “What? I was just joking” deflection too.

"Not That Kind of Wife" is for every woman who refuses to shrink, who speaks loud in a world that wants her silent. This poem stirred up strong reactions. Want a sneak peek? Click here to read the teaser and unlock the full poem

And what was the verdict of that toil, you may ask? I didn't need to think about it long, not once I saw it laid out in front of me. Going through and highlighting the things I do in our relationship consistently made me... proud.

As a recovering people pleaser who has spent many wishes and resolutions on prioritizing myself now and then.

Because I'm happy. My family is healthy. Both my partner and I are making steady work in achieving our individual and partnered goals. I have everything thing to look forward to knowing that I built on a steady foundation.

And I'm learning to enjoy the friction that's in progress.

It's not easy but I feel better knowing that I'm making grassroot changes and have the potential to extend my reach. That's my North Star. Impact one small rebellion at a time.

A non-satirical satire adaptation of “I Want a Wife” by Judy Brady Syfers

H.L. Hines

I belong to that classification of people known as wives.

I am a Wife—though, incidentally, not a mother.

A male friend of mine recently reappeared on the scene—newly divorced. He had one child, who—of course—stayed with his ex-wife. He was looking for another wife. As I thought about him one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that I, too, would like to have a wife.

Why do I want a wife?

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